I went to goth night on Wednesday. I had my mohawk up, was wearing two of my handmade spiked collars, my midriff revealing tank top that i also made, and the most excellent, although stereotypical goth pants that i got at Goodwill...and as i walked through the bar room into the dance hall i came to the realization that i was not goth *enough*.
People were wearing masks, had black and/or white make-up all over their faces, dread-falls...very little grinding going on. The music was not much to my liking, but it was nice to see more people dance with gusto. There are two places that i know of that have goth night on Wednesdays, and one was practically deserted, but the music was so much better. I wish people would go there next time. Yes--Sky Bar was packed, Uptown was empty. Uptown had much better music. It was like...dark house/techno. Not bubblegum techno, but still very danceable. I had to leave before the night was over. Early morning class. But what the hell, people? I wonder if there was a rift in the politics of the goth nights around here and if that caused loyalties to sit with one place. This will be my independent, uncoerced, unsponsored plug for Uptown's goth night. Check it out on your way to Sky Bar. You might just want to stay a while.
**I know--goth is a state of mind, a way of relating to the world and one's own emotions, power from pain, beauty from the broken, etc. I just meant in costume. Really, i can be goth in track pants.
People around here seem to think it's weird that some 30-somethings identify with the goth culture. As if "goth" is only something for those 25 and under. Excuse me--many of those are the Hot Topic goths. But the original goth sub-culture emerged in the late 70s and early 80s. When those 30-somethings were kids and teenagers. So it's more than reasonable for them to identify with that set if that's the group they were into back then. Goth isn't some phase you always grow out of. We have old hippies. Why not old(er than collage age) goths? I think about the various people over 30 who made somewhat regular appearances at Axis aka Chapel Perilous and note that they were all nice, intelligent people. One was a professor, one ran a department of a university library, one managed a bookstore... Contrary to the common notion, most goths are not chronically sad, pathetic mopers. From my experience, they are creative, expressive people who aren't afraid to feel the full gamut of emotion and use their experiences, good and bad, to inform the products of their creativity.
Some people also think it's weird for 30-somethings to still be going to the bars and clubs that the university set goes to. Ok--this is a "college town". EVERY bar and club is going to have college students in it. What i don't get is how in more rural areas, such as the place i grew up, a young man who goes to the same bar from the time he's in his 20s up to his 60s is considered a "good-ol-boy", but in college towns, he's considered an old creep. What the hell? There is no age maximum to get into a bar. And more ages of people than just college age live and work in college towns. Granted, there are some very odd, possibly creepy people around here. Everywhere actually. I met a creepy 30+ law student at IU. I've met plenty of young creeps and jackasses in my dorms. So don't determine creepiness on the basis of age alone. Get to know people. Then decide if they are creepy or evil or whatever. It's not how old you are. It's how you behave, how you treat people.
When i am 30+ i will still be goth. And dancing. Is there some rule that once a person passes 35, they have to stay home with their Reader's Digest? The day i get too old to dance is the day a huge part of my soul shrivels up and dies.
A lot of weird coincidences that feel like more than coincidences keep occurring. These range from having a dream that seemed to predict the person i was about to meet within a few hours after having it, going dancing that night and knowing that i would meet someone interesting, that person knowing the pattern drafting, tailoring, and other sewing techniques that i need to know for the piece i wasn't sure if i would be able to make, me hanging out with this person too long over fall break, thus getting almost sick and feeling too worn out to go on the Metals area field trip to the University of Western Michigan--a trip which i had a bad feeling about anyway, and the assistant professor being stricken, the day after returning, with an infection so bad it landed her in the emergency room, that she was told could make her go blind.
So if i had gone on that trip, i might have caught what the assistant professor has because my body was worn out. There are other things, but after this it gets too mystical.